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iDanielle
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Name: Danielle
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Diego
Birthday: 9/21/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, reading, studying, practicing, sports (softball) math, science, more music, computers, friends, tea, iPods, the Sun God, beaches. Whatever else tickles my fancy.
Expertise: Nothing really. Well math/science hehe :)
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  kamibass3hd
Member Since:
7/18/2005
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| K, well considering that not many people I know really check my xanga, I have decided to move over to LiveJournal. I like blogging a lot better on there. So if you'd like to read my LJ you can find me under the name DaniDonn.
http://danidonn.livejournal.com/
I'm still going to read eveyone's posts, I just won't be posting here.
Thanks and Goodbye.
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| I'm missing so many things right now. Those people in your life who could look into your eyes and know everything going through your head. Those people who just understood, irregardless of how different they were than you. Friends who could make you crack up with one look. People who could make you spill all your darkest secrets and worst fears in just a couple of words. People its ok to cry in front of. People I tell "I love you" to and mean it. I miss them. All of them.
I miss my Mom.
I miss my Daddy.
I miss my Brother.
I miss my Aunt Diane and Aunt Patty.
I miss Beth.
I miss Antonio.
I miss Ronichiwawa.
I miss Emily(s), both of them.
I miss Char Char.
I miss Erin.
I miss Kerry Robbins.
I just want to be able to feel that comfortable again. To know that I'm completely secure and loved when I'm around my friends. I want those friends back, but it feels like nothing's ever going to be the same. I still haven't completely opened up to anyone in San Diego except for maybe my roommate. (she still only knows the tip of the iceberg) I want closure. I want my best friend back, but she seems to have moved on. I want to hang out with Antonio. He always understood even though I never said anything, he understood that he should just keep on bitching about girls and then we'd smoke a swisher sweet together.
I want my friends to see what its like for me in San Diego, I want them to visit me. Has anyone? No. I guess no one would go through the trouble of coming here to see me. I'm nothing special. All that time we spent together just didn't mean anything. Maybe Spring Quarter will be better. Probably not.
Maybe I'm just being super depressed because the other night I walked into the aftermath of another first year committing suicide by jumping off a parking structure on campus. Why did he do it? Maybe his friends from home stopped talking to him? Maybe his parents cut ties with him? Maybe he failed some of his classes? Well I hope he has found peace in his decision to end his life. Maybe he went to hell, or maybe heaven, or maybe nothingness. I bet he wanted the nothingness out of the three.
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| So I'm waiting for a pizookie platter to be delivered to my suite. I ordered one because I've got three midterms tommorow and so little time left to study for them. I have to push through the next 24 hours and then I'll be free to go to the ICRA dance. In the next few weeks while everyone else struggles to study for their random midterms I'll be able to sit back and relaaaaaaaax. : D I'm going to see my nephew this weekend at my brother's house, yay!
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| Soooooooooo.... It's time to go home. I've been living with these San
Diegans for the last 11 weeks and now I have to go back home for a full
month and do nothing.
I don't know how I even feel about it really. Will I hate all my
suitemates or miss them terribly? (well I know which ones I'd hate and
which ones would be missed) Hopefully I miss them, I guess I'll find
out in a month of so heh. Damn I just got somewhat comfortable with the
majority of the people I know here in San Diego, which means I'm not so
scared and quiet looking.
On another note my grandma has dementia (sp?) and recently she
developed extreme osterioperosis and broke one of her ribs. Add to that
my super healthy grandpa who's my grandma's care taker get's massive
blockage in most of the major arteries in his heart and he has to get
surgery during Thanksgiving. So now both my Grandma and Grandpa can't
do much and my Aunt and I have to split the time taking care of my
Grandma and hopefully tommorow will be the last time for awhile where I
have to go watch her. It's not that I don't like spending time with
her, it just gets so frustrating reexplaining things over and over and
over again to her. She has the mentality of a child, but whereas a
child can remember at least some of what is said, to her it's like
you've just met for the first time in your life. This is the woman that
I spent all my holidays with and she can't even remember I'm part of
her family. So during the last few weeks while I was taking care of my
Grandma I ended up actually missing some class and club meetings,
shocking eh?
Funny how it's finals week and I just watched 4 movies in two days.
Chronicles of Narnia, Syriana, Latter Days, and Zoolander. Narnia was
ok, haven't read the books, but it was like some weird mutated form of
LOTR and HP to me. Syriana looked promising to be a great political
thriller, but honestly it was way too disjointed with hard to follow
conversations and no clear resolution. Maybe if I had an extensive
knowledge of Iran it would have helped? But really a movie shouldn't be
like that, even HP is made for people who haven't read the books. And
the ending was meant to be all "oh it came together!" but it was more
like "anticlimax!" to me. Latter Days was with this gay party boy and a
mormon guy and they fall in love. It's really angsty, but I liked the
warm fluffy ending anyway. Zoolander's Zoolander, nuff said.
I now have two pairs of house shoes/slippers thanks to my suitemate secret santa!!!! I'm never going back to shoes again. 
Well goodbye San Diego, hello Bakersfield. But first I have to get through Physics!
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| So I realized maybe I should write a bit in my xanga even though I find
this place to be a little dead. So today (yesterday technically) I made
the front page of UCSD's newspaper the Guardian. Above the fold even.
If you're not from UCSD or you don't know about the porn scandal going
on just look up steve york and ucsd on google. Since I've been at
college I've joined a ton of stuff and gotten really involved in campus
orgs. So far I'm part of Warren College Television, (why I was in the
newspaper) Programming at Warren, (PAW) Warren Advisory Council, (WAC)
Inter-College Resident Association, (ICRA) American Society of
Mechanical Engineers, (ASME) Society of Automotive Engineers, (SAE) and
Society of Women Engineers (SWE) So classes have been pretty hard and
I'm pushing myself through some midterms and a mechanical design
project. I get a little stressed sometimes, but it's okay because it's
been long enough in the quarter that I'm starting to make friends with
a lot of the people in the clubs I'm in. Going to In N' Out with the
WCTV guys a couple of times and hanging out with ICRA people at Earl's
has been a lot of fun. Also finding out new things about the people I'm
living with in my suite is interesting and we all amazingly get along
really well. (you'd think 8 girls PMSing would make it impossible, but
it is)
I can't wait to go visit norcal people this veteran's day weekend but
first I have to make it through the next three days of crap before I
can go. Roadtrips are tons of fun and it'll be a bonding experience for
sure. Oh and we're stopping at Cal Poly on our way up to drop someone
off so if you're a Cal Poly friend and you're reading this then tell me
to visit you and I will if you're free. Thanksgiving is both a curse
and a blessing. I get to go home for an extended period, but as soon as
I get back then there's only a week lef until finals which is going to
be pure madness. Crappity crap crap. :)
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